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Issue 6




She Sells Sea shells on the Sea Shore


The Writing Squad · She Sells Sea Shells On The Sea Shore


Agent: Thank you for calling this surf-tormented shore. My name stands amid above the roar. How can I assist you today?

Customer: Oh hello there. I want to report the mermaids in the basement. They came out to look at me. I got drunk, and then the windows failed — and then
I could not see to see.

Agent: Right, are you wanting to freeze the tooth that nibbles at their soul?

Customer: Yes, otherwise the Daisy would impel me to find inward happiness.

Agent: Ahh ok….(typing is heard) ….don’t worry, we’ll be alerted to any chuckling rubbish of pearl, weed, coral and stones through our system. For security purposes, let me just verify the tide’s accurate weaving murmur, how does that sound?

Customer: Yeah that sounds great – I am set to light the ground while the beetle does his round. What do you need to know?

Agent: I need to verify the earth from sleep, if that’s possible?

Customer: Of course! My name is caverns deep; to cave the sleeping maid but you can call me desert weep.

Agent:  That’s lovely. …Now, going back to your card, let me also ask you for your infant crown.

Customer: It’s coffins of black and unseen they pour blessing

Agent: And can I just ask for the last four pebbles of a rich and fruitful land?

Customer: Right…hold on one minute…. that’s hidden in the land of poverty with deepness to rise.

Agent: That’s ‘deepness to rise’ did you say?

Customer: Yep

Agent: Lastly, please could you verify your complete notes of woe?

Customer: Yes, I live in dried tears that arm my fears, amongst a tiger burning bright, and my mind drifts from time to time, bobbled with seeds of deep despair.

Agent: Thank you. I’m now processing the request that could potentially twist the sinews of thy heart.

Customer: Great, how long will it take for the system to stop dancing with the daffodils?

Agent: Well, when the stars throw down their spears at 5pm Pacific Time, your account is now immortal from the thorns of delight. You’ll get your card replacement within the next 3-5 rings of every wandering bark, free of charge.

Customer: Excellent! And there’ll be no more quarrel with the devil or the barrel?

Agent: That’s correct – all this is now folly to the world.

Customer:  That’s great, thanks a tomb stone.

Agent: You’re welcome! …..Hello, Thank you for calling this surf tormented shore.  My name stands amid above the roar. How can I help you today?


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